Recently, at the Priesthood Session of the LDS Church's semi-annual conference (for the men and boys ages 12 and over), the President of our Church, President Monson, said the following:
"Many years ago, at an area conference held in Helsinki, Finland, I heard a powerful, memorable, and motivating message given in a mothers and daughters’ session. ...Among many truths the speaker discussed, she said that a woman needs to be told she is beautiful. She needs to be told she is valued. She needs to be told she is worthwhile."
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/see-others-as-they-may-become?lang=eng
I caught a video this morning of a group of Young Men who created a video for the Young Women in their stake to show at their Girl's Camp.
http://youtu.be/qgGbIstzMV4
All of a sudden, I just started crying. Maybe it's seeing these sweet young men doing such a service. Maybe I saw potential missionaries in those boys in white shirts and ties. Maybe it was the messages in the song. Or maybe I thought about how those young women would feel after seeing that video and that would carry with them on days where they didn't feel good about themselves.
I so want these young men to believe this message. When they are old enough to date and especially old enough to get married, I want those sweet boys to find the beautiful girls - beautiful because they are virtuous, beautiful because they are modest, beautiful because they radiate an inner beauty.
I was struck by an article I read a while back called "The Death of Pretty" from Pat Archbold. He defines pretty as "the combination of beauty and innocence". He contrasts this with "hotness": "Pretty is cherished. Hotness, on the other hand, is a commodity. Its value is temporary and must be used. It is a consumable."
Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/pat-archbold/the-death-of-pretty#ixzz29iJBacBB
I hope everyone that is reading this would consider banishing the word "hot" when referring to appearance. I'm going to try to pledge to do the same.
I've worked with youth and young children for most of my adult life. I have noticed a consistent pattern that girls who focus on clothes, makeup and hair at a younger age tend to focus on the exterior - not only of themselves, but of others around them. I'm always sad to see that a 10-year-old that started wearing makeup to church by age 16 is wearing twice as much eyeliner and lipstick as they should and they just aren't as "pretty" anymore.
I've also noticed a pattern that girls who have fathers or male figures in their lives that tell these girls they are beautiful in all ways - spiritually and physically - are less likely to search out boys who will. I have been lucky in my life to have a dad who finds ways to compliment me on not only how I look, but in all the areas that are important to me. If you are a dad reading this or know of a girl who needs a compliment - find ways to do it.
I worry about my niece who is starting to hit the tween age and finding ways to experiment with makeup and commenting on clothes - many of which aren't appropriate for girls at any age. It's natural and normal - so I'm not trying to judge. I just want her to stay on the side of "pretty". Fortunately, she has wonderful parents who will guide her in the right direction (and an aunt who will beat her if she doesn't :-) ).
Seriously, my biggest wish is that all four of my nieces to find boys like the ones in this video who knows what truly makes a girl and woman beautiful. And I want all three of my nephews to find a girl who is truly beautiful - inside and out. I could wish for nothing more for them.
Let's all follow the example of these young men and find what makes all of us beautiful.
