No More Have To's

I turn on the movie "Parenthood" those days when there is little else on.  While not completely with my values, it shows the highs and lows of family life.  In one scene, Steve Martin was having a serious conversation about marriage and family with Mary Steenburgen.  But he has to cut the conversation short because he needs to leave and coach his son's little league game.  His wife says "Do you have to go?"  He responds:  "My whole life is Have To's!"

For those of you that are my Facebook friends, I recently posted a video with my oldest nephew from New Year's.  He is running from room to room, thrilled that he was up to see the Ball Drop, wishing everyone a Happy New Year.

Nephew #1 has challenges in his life.  But, he has an amazing ability to celebrate the every day.  And he creates events to be excited for.  Not many children or even adults can tell you how many days until the Sochi Olympics or when the upcoming Muppet Movie is coming out (or who is starring in it).  He almost is more excited for the journey to the event than the event itself.

In fairness, in a nine-year-old's life, he doesn't have to think about the details very much.  He doesn't need to cook Christmas dinner, pay the bills, make sure the house is clean for Grandma.  But he has an infectious way of reminding you that the event is the most important thing - not whether or not we bought the right kind of sausage for Christmas breakfast.

I think about my approach to life.  My mind immediately goes to the logistics of everything that I HAVE to get done.  Waking up in the morning, I go immediately to what tasks need to be done at work, at home.  A trip becomes checklists, packing lists, trips to the store, etc.  Special events even become "have to's" - I have to go to the reception, baptism, birthday party, even funerals.  Even spiritual tasks become checklist items - I have to say my prayers, write in my journal, read my scriptures, prep my lesson.  

I think about what I "have to do" instead of what all those tasks are for.  I heard a thought the other day that said "The Purpose of the Task is to build relationships".  Am I just doing tasks with no purpose of growing personally, building relationships, creating memories?  Are my spiritual checklists drawing me closer to Christ?  Will I come to the end of my life and find that I accomplished a lot, but missed out on the experiences?  

My resolution for 2014 is to change my view point from "Have to" to "Get To" (or even "Need To").  Get To changes the tasks from a chore to an opportunity.  Most of us are very fortunate to have as many opportunities as we do - choices of what to wear & eat, our health, living in a free country, being a Christian. In comparison to most of the world - being able to go to a grocery store instead of foraging for food is a blessing.  I'm not Pollyanna enough to think that everything we need to accomplish is a blessing (going to the women's doc or DMV is on that list).  But, changing it from Have To to Need To changes it from a task someone is forcing me to do, to a task I need to accomplish to meet a purpose.

It's especially important for me to start this week.  I am hosting 11 people from our international markets.  There are a lot of logistics that need to be coordinated.  I am giving nine different presentations.  And there are so many needs - dietary, transportation, etc.  But, I don't want the week to go by and find that I've spent it with "Have To's" and missed the relationships and the memories.  

I hope at the end of the year, I see my life with a different paradigm.  I want to end the year awaiting the stroke of midnight screaming "Happy 2015" instead of thinking about what I'm going to do the next morning or three weeks later.  May our whole lives be "Get To's".