Sometimes it's just hard to be a woman...
Sometimes it's just hard to be a Mormon woman...
I'm a bit hesitant to write this because it may add fuel to an already growing fire. But, this has been building for a while so I feel like I need to write it down.
Just before Christmas, I got a Facebook post with a quote from President Monson. It had a scene with Black Friday shoppers and the quote was his concern with Christ being removed from Christmas. (Note that the post wasn't from him, the picture wasn't from him - someone who puts the quotes and pictures together.)
As I read the comments, I just got mad. It starts with chastising anyone who went shopping on Black Friday like they were following the devil. Next was the comments about how THEY are doing only homemade gifts. Then, the comments came about how their family doesn't do any gifts for Christmas. (I was waiting for the comment that they burn all gifts in effigy when they arrive.) Soon the posts arrive about saying "Happy Holidays" is like a curse word.
It felt so one-upman that I was ready to scream (and I think I did in my car). I don't think giving gifts or having Santa Claus decorations at Christmas means I am "less spiritual" than anyone else. I somehow don't think President Monson is tossing out the presents under his tree. I have Jewish friends and I have become more aware of trying to be inclusive. So does saying "Happy Holidays" mean I love the Savior any less?
Last week, LDS Living posted about four LDS NFL football players who could be in the Super Bowl. Within minutes the posts came: "Why are we celebrating people who play sports on the Sabbath?" "I don't KNOW any NFL players because WE don't watch on Sundays." Again, the heat came into my cheeks about this.
I heard Steve Young talk once about his decision to not go on a mission. This decision came as a result of prayer and two separate priesthood blessings. I expect that many of the professional players that are not only LDS but other faithful Christians have had the same hours of prayer and reflection on what to do.
Of course, I believe we can honor the people like Eric Liddell - an Olympian who chose not to run on Sundays. And Eli Herring, a BYU player who was offered millions to go into the NFL and decided to not play on the Sabbath. But, can these others who choose a professional career which requires work on Sundays provide just as good of an example?
Next - the woman issue. I read a blog today from a man who was defending a previous blog. He had previous written about how proud he was that his wife was a stay-at-home mom. Another blogger wrote about how demeaning this was. He responded back. I didn't have many issues with his words - although it didn't really address those who had to work even though they didn't want to.
But as you read the comments, the continuous debate of "who loves their children more" pops up. And it's frustrating - stay-at-home moms that do nothing with their kids may spend less time than the working-out-of-the-home mom who devotes every spare minute to them. Some women may be better mothers by being away from home than by being with their children all day.
I tread lightly here. I love and honor those of you that are stay-at-home moms or stay-at-home dads. You have the toughest jobs in the world and receive very little praise and recognition. And the work you do is honorable. And those men and women that have to work outside the home that want to be home - I can feel your struggles, even if I don't understand them completely. And for those of you that choose to work outside the home - it's not my place to question your decision.
Finally, the Mormon Woman. A group put together a list of the "100 Coolest Mormon Women Alive Today". Of course, the comments come with the usual banter of who should and shouldn't have made the list.
I got hot about a comment from a woman who said that any success not related to raising children was secondary. Well, as someone that doesn't have children - I took offense to that. I never feel worse about not being married and having children than when a bunch of Relief Society "sisters" point out to me that I am not fulfilling my "highest calling".
I just got an email this week from a former young woman who I only taught for a short time. (My non-Mormon friends - this is a group of teens from 12 - 18.) She told me that she cherished a girls' camp experience where I taught her that it was important to just be herself. It was years ago - I don't even remember the event she was talking about. But, when I think about that and what that woman said - did my time serving in church really not having meaning or purpose?
The matching thread to all of this: We are not better or worse than others because of life circumstances or even life decisions. And we would all be better off if we would cherish our differences instead of justify why ours is better.
In the Mormon verse of scripture, Doctrine & Covenants section 46 verse 26 says: And all these
Of course, not all of our choices are good ones. It's what the Holy Ghost or our conscience is there for - if we aren't at peace with our decisions, we probably didn't make the right ones. But, the only people that have a right to comment are those affected and our Heavenly Father. If we are at peace with those, we are doing the right thing.
And the rest of us need to back off!
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